Has this ever happened to you? Your on the couch snuggled up with the Love of Your Life, watching that sitcom you both love (it was Chuck for us) when Leggy Blonde in Her Underwear shows up on screen, and your otherwise sweet and wonderful life partner forgets himself and wolf whistles. Wolf Whistles!! At Leggy Blonde who looks NOTHING like me! Hello?? I’m right here… you know, the woman holding your hand…
He didn’t understand why I was so offended. It was just a reaction. Which obviously just made me more upset. But fortunately, we are both graduates of the Landmark Forum so we were then able to have a conversation of what I was making his whistle mean and such. So that happened.
We’ve also been watching the BBC show Coupling recently, which is hilarious. Between my man’s wolf-whistle, all the boudoir shoots I’ve done, the incessant FB sharing of articles complaining that the Disney Princesses need to eat more and such, and the brilliance that is Coupling, something crystalized in my brain. I think this epiphany will help any woman whose husband forgets to finish his sentence when a scantily clad supermodel appears.
Here is it… the really reason why he can’t help himself when he sees a Victoria’s Secret Model (or similar)… are you ready?
She is Confidently Walking around in her underwear… and happy to be looked at. That’s it, ladies. Your husband has little to no concern for the measurements of any particular feature. He doesn’t care what color her hair is, or that her hair is even combed. He doesn’t care how tall/ thin / busty / tan / pale / etc she is. It’s a woman, confidently strutting around in her underwear, loving to be looked at.
And what do we do? We get out of the shower, wrap a towel around us as fast as we can, and say “What are you looking at?” That’s what I used to do.
Try it out… see if I’m right. Strut around the house in your undies. They don’t even have to match. But you do have to strut. And you can’t wilt when his gaze hits you. The confidence part is key. It will feel ridiculous. And that’s why we don’t do it, and then get upset when he looks at models in their underwear.
If the confidence part is the hardest, here’s what I have to offer:
1 – Remind yourself that this spouse of yours chose you. He didn’t settle for you. There are many fish in the sea, of all shapes, sizes and IQs. He actively chose you.
2 – No one cares about the measurements of any of your particular features nearly as much as you do. Everyone else looks at you as one whole person… not a set of boobs that are too ____, not a butt that is too _____.
3 – Book yourself a boudoir session. If you can’t strut around the house in your underwear yet, start with a photo session to as practice. You’ll be nervous until about 5 minutes after we start. I promise. Then you’ll have photos to see how awesome you look strutting around in your underwear. And then you can show him those photos and see how much he loves it. (He might even wolf-whistle) And then you’ll be strutting around the house like a model.