As my readers might have noticed, I’m not very good at blogging regularly… sometimes it’s once or twice a week, or I can go a month without saying a word. I know, it’s bad for marketing… and yet, since that’s not why I blog, marketing is not the proper motivation. I blog because I want to share. Photos mostly…
BrandCampBlog.com showed up as a suggestion in my Google Reader this morning, and so I read a few of her posts. One of them challenged her readers to share a personal story on their blogs. A personal story? I had a visceral terror reaction when I read that. I’m really good at hiding my dirty laundry and maintaining a shiny, happy appearance. Clearly, I could tell a personal story that enforces the shiny, happy appearance… but that feels less-than-genuine. And so, since I like to do things all the way when I do them, I’ll tell you one of my biggest secrets.
Throughout my 20’s (and since I turned 30 last week, I can say things like that) I always prided myself on not needing anyone. I wanted a career, enough money to keep up with fun techie toys and eat out and have adventures big and small. I was all about how I don’t need a boyfriend or a relationship, and I’m perfectly happy if I never get married. I don’t want the kids and the picket fence and the golden retriever anyway. I just want to travel, explore, dance, and meet people all over the place. I can make friends anywhere, so why would I need anyone in particular, right?
Yeah? So why did I drop my life in New York City and move to Colorado to be with my boyfriend? I had perfectly logical reasons.
With my life in Colorado, my work as a photographer turned towards weddings. Weddings!? I hate weddings… except that I don’t. Except that I really love weddings. I really love love, and the truth is that with every wedding I photographed the voice in my heart got a little more persistent. The truth is that I’m so good at capturing the looks and moments between bride and groom because I let my heart guide the camera, and I want them so badly for myself. I do want to travel the world, explore and meet people all over the place… and I really want a partner in crime for the trip, a play mate, a dance partner, a hand-holder.
Yesterday morning I did a family portrait session with the Blackden’s, and saw it in Tiffany and Gary. What they have there…that’s my big Want… and the big secret I’ve been keeping from everyone, including myself.
