THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP QUIZ
GRAB A PEN & PAPER
I had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Richard Grant again last week, and during his presentation, he gave us the following exercise. It surprised me with how simple and sneakily effective it was.
If you’re going to do this exercise, it won’t work as effectively if you read all the steps and then get started. The best way is to read only Step 1, and do step 1. Read only step 2, and do Step 2. Then Read Step 3 and do Step 3.
©Richard D. Grant Jr., Ph.D.
1 • Your People
Write down the names of nine people who have simply accepted you. Leave a couple lines between each name. Let’s leave spouses/ partners out of it for now. People who did not base your relationship on any particular qualities. You felt like they liked you for who you are. Who ever they were, whatever their role, whether the relationship still exists or not. Family, childhood friends, teachers, coaches, co-workers… etc. Anyone who effectively communicated that they accepted you, write their name down.
2 • Their Words
Look at the first person’s name. Get really present to being with them when they did or said whatever it was that made you feel accepted. Write it down. Write their words and / or actions that made you feel seen, accepted, loved. Go down the list and do each one.
3 • The Sneak Attack
Now, you have a list of the most loving words for addressing yourself. Frame it, hang it next to your mirror. Put them as reminders in your phone. Use them as passwords and hints. Sneak those loving messages into your day-to-day, and you might actually start to see yourself as those around do. You might actually believe that you are perfect and loved exactly as you are right now.