It’s pretty much been a month of Sundays, hasn’t it? If I can get off the news / Facebook scroll, I’ve been left with nothing but an empty day… followed by an empty day, followed by an empty day. (Empty as in, the calendar is blank. Not meaning devoid of things.) So, each day has some “puddle on the couch” parts, and some productive parts. Some days are 98% puddling on the couch and 2% productive. Hey, at least I brushed my teeth! That counts as productive on a Sunday.
Other days are very productive. I finished a retaining wall that’s been in progress for, oh… 3 or 4 years. That was amazing.
I’m not sure whether reading a book falls into the puddling category, or the productive one… but maybe both?
Either way, I’ve done some reading in the last month. I ordered and planted flower seeds, because I’m in no position to wait for May to start gardening. I’ve cleaned, and cooked and walked the dog. I’ve bought the required stuff to make masks, and researched how to make them… but haven’t made them yet. I’ve watched 5 seasons of The Blacklist on Netflix and gotten caught up on Grey’s and This is Us. That was important puddling time.
Sometimes I just puddle with a cat on my lap and wonder what the studio is going to look like whenever I’m allowed to photograph people again. Some days I ache to get in there again. Some days I wonder if I should become a professional retaining-wall builder instead.
My rambling path to a point is, whatever you’re doing today is great. Questioning, sulking, thinking are normal reactions to having the rug royally pulled out from under you. Making things and Zooming everyone and getting things done are great too. As long as they’re not forms of busyness to keep you from accepting the current lack of rug. Or forms of keeping up with the appearance of So-And-So, who is probably actually waging her own internal war.
My point is, where ever you are… holed up and waiting for someone to say it’s safe, know that you are valued and you are loved. I don’t know when they will say that tomorrow is going to be the Monday that ends this month of Sunday… but stop waiting for it. We all hated Mondays anyway.